The Democrat Message to America for the New Era

Welcome to the New America! The new and improved America is under new management.

For the middle class people who work hard every day to make living and a good life for themeselves, we have - Tax Increases! Yaaaaayyy!!

For those of you who are backward, fairy tale believeing Church-goers, we have Secularism about to run rampant. We may even make it a crime to belive in this "God" or to pass this on to your children.

To all of you who came accross the border through, hmmmm...lets say "less than legal" means, we so badly need your support that we are going to stop those nasty Republicans from building that big wall on the southern border. We know you really didnt want it, as it might have made border jumping just a bit too difficult.

We killed the Patriot Act already, so lets get rid of these Domestic Spying programs. The average Joe absolutely needs the freedom of un-listened to calls to the the Muslim world. It might make Joe uncomfortable to know a COMPUTER is SCREENING his worlds for things like jihad, bomb, and infidel. While we are at it, we need to throw some subpoenas at Bush for even trying such a thing.

We will try to be more like France, whose "youth" are contributing to their society in such wonderful ways.


And dont think we have forgotten the Troops, you who are "stuck in Iraq". No, we didnt forget you guys and gals. We have decided to "redeploy" you in such a fasion as to better fight the war on Terror. We want to bring you home. Now, we know that some of you will complain that the job isnt finished, or that your buddies will have died for nothing (look at it this way, your buddies getting killed is what we used to get into power, so its for the best). But since we have no plans to really combat modern Islamofascism (isnt that such an UGLY word, we should write up a bill to abolish that term), we have no need of you in this country that shares a huge border with Iran. While we are at it, we think we will pull our troops completely out of Afghanistan as well. We really dont need the presence in South Central Asia anymore, now that we dont plan to protect western interests anymore.

Now that we have these little things out of the way we would like to open up a dialogue with the "freedom fighters" who were forced to attack us on our own soil and in other parts of the world. We, the Democratic party, would like to tell you that we mean you no harm. We would like to just live in peace with you, and be friends. We see no reason that we cant just get along, but if you do attack us, we will track you down...and sit you in a court of law, to grandstand and mock the United States until you are possibly found guilty and given a sentence of XX number of years with the possibility of parole for good behavior. We will also feel bad when this happens and we are sure we will give you unrestricted and unmonitored communication with your community either back home in Sandville, or Cameltown, or even here in the US of A (probably you are from Michigan as we hear you have quite the little community there). Your religious freedom will be totally protected and respected here, unless you convert to Christianity, in which case you will be told that you are somehow delusional and suffering from some sort of mass hysteria. Allah Akbar, and Asalamalakum to you, our new friends. Please dont attack us.


And so, we take the reigns of power with our agenda clear. Let us go forth in a bi-partisan fasion to clear up the mistakes made by this President. We think its just a fluke that we havent been hit with an attack here at home since 9/11. As a matter of fact, 9/11 was probably a fluke as well. Anyhow, congrats to us. We deserve it!